I had a really good run with this, friends. A really good one.
Over ten years, my writing did reach hundreds of millions of people through my blog posts. My books were read by so many. My Facebook posts reached billions of people.
I hope that I truly did make a real difference in the lives of many with what I have shared day in and day out. I hope that what I shared has ripple effects in this world that bring about real goodness and understanding among mankind for a long time to come. I hope that my deeds do somehow echo throughout eternity, in one way or another.
I won’t say a whole lot more to you all than that. I’ve written and shared so much for ten years now. I do have some personal final thoughts for you all below.
Just know that I do really appreciate all of the support over the years. I appreciate all the comments and the interactions with my posts that helped keep them alive in the algorithm. I appreciate all the kind messages and the supportive messages. I appreciate you all chasing away the trolls. I appreciate all the inspiring members of the Single Dad Laughing Health Club, which has truly changed a lot of lives. I appreciate all the post and link shares. I appreciate all the internet hugs. And perhaps more than anything, I appreciate the ability to be absolutely human with all of you on my own healing journey this last decade.
There is no doubt that this blog and my writing has healed me in so many ways I couldn’t even know I was broken when I started it.
Thank you. All of you. Sincerely.
As my final words to all of you, I suppose the biggest thing I wish to leave with you all is a deep desire to be far more real and transparent in your own personal worlds.
Share your weaknesses and your struggles with those you love and be both understanding and accepting as others share theirs with you in return. We all have so many of them.
Do not always hide your mental illnesses from the world. Do your part to erase the stigmas.
Don’t hold onto grudges. Let go of any and all bitterness. That shit is cancer. It really is.
Strive to give the world a lot more than you take.
Say yes to fun or new opportunities a lot more often.
Forgive yourself when you’re an asshole or when you make a big mistake that affects someone else. And for fuck’s sake… Make it right with others any time you do.
Support artists. Support small businesses. Support your friends and family members. Stop handing all of the incredible color of independent art/thinking to big companies and corporations.
Get off your phones a lot more often.
Read more books.
Take time to be a true friend to your friends.
Be true to your word. When you make a promise, keep that fucking promise.
Practice not always needing to get in the last word when you argue or debate.
Recognize that there is more than one right way to do most things, and be okay with things being done in ways that are not yours.
Be on time when you are meeting somebody somewhere. Respect the fuck out of the fact that other people’s time is just as valuable and important and limited as yours.
Include those who don’t often get included.
Laugh when things are funny, and don’t be so damn quick to be offended.
Laugh when things are hard, and always look for the lessons in whatever struggles you experience.
Learn new words, every single day. Lookup words you hear that you don’t know. Lookup words you think you do know but you aren’t totally sure.
Present yourself to the world as unfiltered as possible so that others feel comfortable doing the same as well.
Get rid of a few of those rules you’ve set as a parent. Give your kids more freedom to think and act for themselves.
Give up on trying to be perfect. That shit will kill your spirit slowly, but surely.
Swipe less on dating apps and talk to people you match with more.
Stop believing you have all the answers when it comes to religion/spirituality or the non-existence thereof. Nobody has them all.
Don’t be a fucking troll, on the internet or off. Trolls are the worst.
Don’t be so obsessed with a number on a scale that you miss some of the most yummy desserts or meals throughout your life.
Stop judging people for their vices. We all have to deal with this world, and the perpetual harshness of it, in our own ways.
Care about your co-parent and don’t constantly go to war with them.
Escape into nature as often as possible. Time away from civilization heals you in ways only nature can.
Tip service people enough that they can make an actual living doing what they do.
Stop pooping in front of your significant other. Close the damned bathroom door.
Figure yourself out. Get to the root of why you struggle with your biggest struggles, and fix the cause of those struggles instead of the symptoms.
Understand that your biggest weaknesses are so hard to get rid of because those same personality traits also usually feed your biggest strengths.
Work hard. Really hard.
Enjoy the hell out of life when you aren’t working.
Go out and see a lot more of the world.
Don’t give so much of yourself to others that there isn’t much left for you or your family.
Give enough of yourself to others that you are worthy of any goodness from others that does come into your life.
Stop believing you somehow own your significant other. Be faithful to them and earn their faithfulness with your own goodness and devotion instead of through demands or contention.
Never stop being romantic to the person you fell in love with.
Stop going with the flow so much. Be the crab that makes its way out of the basket once in a while.
Stop obsessing about the size of your dick or the imperfections of your breasts. Remember that your body is a fucking gift to whomever you share it with, and you never have anything to apologize for when it comes to taking off your clothes.
Own your addictions instead of letting your addictions own you.
Trust new people in your life until they do something to lose that trust. Don’t make everyone new somehow prove that they can be trusted.
Stop using the past betrayals of others as a scapegoat for your life not being what you want it to be.
Don’t be a doormat. Stand up for yourself and stop letting people use you.
Journal. Every single day.
Be kind.
Sincerely care about other people’s lives, their struggles, and their triumphs.
Be the friend who organizes get-togethers with other friends instead of always waiting to be invited.
See the positive whenever you can. Don’t hide like an apathetic coward behind the label of “realist.”
Stop thinking you’re better than any other human who exists. Fuck. We are all just trying to get through this life as best we can. Getting through it all is a lot harder for some than it is for others. Learn to walk a mile in the shoes of anyone you would normally judge before you decide their value as a human being.
Watch for the small signs and signals from those who might be struggling and reach out to them when you see them.
Say “thank you” when someone compliments you, and leave it at that.
Block out both the negative outside voices and the positive ones. To let people’s praise define you means you have to let their negativity define you as well. You cannot allow one and not the other. Decide who you are and always know that it is so, no matter what anyone says about you at all.
Embrace all the ways you do not fit into the norms of society.
Find more healthy ways to release your anger. There are plenty.
Don’t engage in destructive conversation about someone who is not there to defend himself.
Question “the truth” you were born into. Question every aspect of it. Question the history of it. Question the future of it. Believe and decide it is the truth only after you have dissected it and questioned it fully.
Stop fucking caring about what others think about anything. Get that tattoo you’ve always wanted. Color your hair or cut it off. Get those piercings. Book that trip. Eat out alone. Wear what you like. Take up that new hobby. Sign-up for that new class. Try that new thing in the bedroom. Swear when you want to swear. Pray when you want to pray. Eat and drink whatever you like. Buy whatever you want with the money you earn. Just stop fucking caring what everyone else thinks about any of it.
With gratitude for the time you had, let go of the ones you have lost and embrace those who will always come next. Whether in death, or in love, those people who are gone are gone and refusing to let them go will only ever handicap you and your happiness.
Always be aware of the environmental needs of those around you.
Make your home a place where the people you care about can come and be safe in such a turbulent and unpredictable world.
Love your family. If you can’t love the family you were born into, love the family you choose.
Make more business deals over handshakes instead of with contracts.
Empathy is great, but compassion is better. Learn the difference between the two and push those you love to greater heights while helping those who truly are in need.
Don’t steal anything, ever. Not from people. Not from businesses. Just don’t. Be better than to take that which is not yours.
Never stop educating yourself.
When you do lie to someone, and you will, tell the truth as quickly as you can.
Don’t get all high and mighty when you catch someone you care about in an unimportant or small lie. You fucking lie sometimes too.
Keep your mind as strong and as functional as you can keep it. Do what you have to do to be mentally fortified and healthy for your family and loved ones.
Find an art form or two you love and fill your life with them often.
Be a person with whom others can share the darkest parts of their existences.
Just fucking be the person you hope people will be for you.
This existence can be brutal. None of us get to escape the trials of life. None of us are without insecurities or hardships. In this day and age, almost every one of us has some sort of mental illness, whether minor or major. We all have to take our individual turns riding the mental and emotional survival train.
Just be fucking nice to people. You never know what battle the person standing in front of you is personally fighting. We all are fighting our own battles.
Those are my final words to all of you today. After ten years of sharing, I hope it’s okay that I leave you all with those thoughts and then be done. Take them or leave them. Those words are simply my way of living, and all I can do is share them with others one last time.
Sigh.
I really don’t want to stop typing right now, but it is time.
This is the end.
If you see me out and about, please say hello and let me know if any of my words the last ten years meant something to you. It’s always nice to know that it was all done for some sort of real purpose in this world.
I did my best, friends. I gave my best. I hope it was somehow enough.
Love,
Dan Pearce | Single Dad Laughing
Father, author, artist, faulted human
